the ups and downs apparently haven't really ended yet. yet. really really thought that it all ended that particular day. urgh. this feeling is shitty. honestly, i can't even say for sure this time that things will eventually pass. i'll be counting days till that day when i wake up thinking what to wear instead of what he's doing or is he up yet or did he sleep well or was he doing anything before bed. the vow. when till it'll be broken? i wish i can know. but if so, will i be okay? oh love, why can't you be easy, why can't you be the-right-thing-to-do.
counting days: day 5.
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